'The baby hasn't done anything to deserve being rejected': Man fathers a baby with his brother's girlfriend and tries to put brother's name on the birth certificate, brother's parents ask the jilted man to support the baby and her parents

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 25, 2025 8:00 PM EST

It's easy to use a baby as a scapegoat. A baby has not wronged a single person, and if you have a baby (especially a fresh one), you can claim that every negative act done towards you is in turn an act against a poor, sweet, innocent infant. 

We all know that's a load of nonsense. If I decide not to be in someone's life because they wronged me, their baby is not going to know a difference between a life with me or a life without me. Of course, this logic doesn't apply to the parents of said baby. If a mother cheats on the father of her baby and he leaves both of them never to be seen again, that baby is going to be emotionally damaged because they're being punished for something they didn't do. But if a friend or an extended family member chooses not to engage with a babies parent for whatever reason, it's well within their right and usually morally sound. 

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  • The brother in this story is in the moral clear not to talk to a single member of his immediate family for as long as he lives, including his 4-month-old niece. His brother fathered a child with his girlfriend, and even tried to get the jilted man to write his name on the babies birth certificate. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10472901376
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not helping my brother and my ex with the kid they had together and telling my parents to step up if help is deserved?

    I (25m) was dating Jade (24f) for four years. We broke up several months ago when I found out she'd been sleeping with my brother Tommy (24m) for months or maybe even years. H | maybe they were secretly cheating since the start. I don't even know anymore. Jade and I lived together and I thought we were expecting a baby together. Then |
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    walked in on them. I didn't catch them in the middle of s or even in bed. But it looked intimate and way too comfortable. They told me I was imagining things and I said I didn't believe them. Tommy said he'd never do me like that. We're brothers and we're there for each other and BS like that.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    I broke up with Jade. She and Tommy still said I was crazy and nothing was going on. But once Jade realized I was serious and I wasn't supporting her through the pregnancy any further and wanted a DNA test, Tommy came crawling to me begging for me not to put Jade or his kid at risk.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    He told me I could be the dad and raise the baby and he'd never be with Jade again but she wanted what I could offer her and the baby and he wanted the best for his kid.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    Our parents were shocked by what had happened. But also frustrated because Tommy was bouncing from job to job after college. He had no stability or stable income and Jade wasn't in a much better position. While I
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    had gone to trade school and was earning good money and had stable employment already. They berated Tommy and Jade like crazy and I stepped away from the two of them. I said I would only step back in and communicate with Jade if the baby was mine. And I said I'd pay for a DNA test.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    Even without knowing they tried to list me as the father on the birth certificate but luckily I needed to be there so that failed. My parents paid for Tommy to take a DNA test the same time I did and the DNA proved he was the father, not me.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    via Louis Reed

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Jade begged me to take her back and she said the baby was really ours no matter what DNA said. I blocked her everywhere after that and did the same with Tommy. They still tracked me down in public but I ignored them. I told Tommy we weren't family anymore and to remember that he was the one who broke our relationship, not me.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    The baby's about 4 months old now. And my parents are taking issue with the fact I ignore that the baby exists like I now ignore that Tommy and Jade exist. They told me I could have sent the baby a gift or something. That I'm still the uncle if I'm not the father. I told them I wanted nothing to do with the mess and it's up to Tommy and Jade to figure this sh out. My parents argued that
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    a good uncle was still important and the baby hasn't done anything to deserve being rejected. I said the baby is innocent but they're attached to the parents who are both pieces of sh who deserve nothing from me. I told my parents we're talking about the same people who expected me to believe that I'd raise the kid as my own and they'd stop cheating. Who tried
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    to force my name on the birth certificate. Those people. I said the baby might be doomed but I don't feel responsible for saving them from that life.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    Cheezburger Image 10472906240
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My parents said Tommy and Jade need help for the sake of the baby and the baby's wellbeing should be all anyone cares about. I rolled my eyes and my parents told me to take this seriously. And there had been a 50% chance the baby was mine. How
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    could all those feelings just vanish like that. They said the baby deserves that and even Tommy to a point because no matter what he's still my brother. I suggested that they should step up if they feel help is so deserved because I'm not gonna.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    They said I was breaking their hearts and Tommy's heart and one day I'd break the baby's heart too. And to think about the bigger picture. AITA?
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    eratoesben - NTA protect your peace. You were betrayed by two people who were closest to you. You owe them nothing, reinforce this to yourself! They did not make a mistake, they made conscious decisions over and over again and were even going to pass off your brother's child as your own.
    via u/eratoesben
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    Ignore the dog whistles and focus on yourself as they sure as h I did. Get therapy, surround yourself with people who support you and your choices. Sometimes it's not enough to cut out just those two toxic evil people but their enablers too. I wish you all the best and hope you have a life full of happiness
    via u/eratoesben
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    SuccessPride821 OP It was a lot of conscious decisions too. From the cheating to the lying when I did find out, to the trying to manipulate me to take responsibility for their choices and then even attempting to put me on the birth certificate. So much around on me and my parents suggesting I shouldn't hate Tommy is crazy to me. He's their son and the baby's their grandkid so I get that they won't cut him off. But to expect me to finance his decisions and be there for him like before? It's wild.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    Minimum-Arachnid-190 Saying you're breaking TOMMY 's precious heart like he didn't try to commit paternity fraud is so.........disgustingly vile. What about your wellbeing?
    via u/Minimum-Arachnid-190
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    TexasGal0032548 "Mom and Dad... three things. 1. She cheated on me. 2. She cheated on me WITH MY OWN BROTHER. 3. She cheated on me with my own brother and HAD A BABY WITH HIM.
    via u/TexasGal0032548
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    Which of those things obligates me to care about any of them? Their reckless behavior isn't my financial responsibility. I've already cut them out of my life. You keep pushing, and you'll be next." Just a few random thoughts from an internet stranger. NTA.
    via u/TexasGal0032548
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    eratoesben Hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong and do not deserve this. You are awesome and a better person but remember that being a better person does not mean burning yourself to warm others. Do not
    via u/eratoesben
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    waste your time fighting with their words, grey rock them or go NC whatever is best for you Your parent's choice is blinded but love but it doesn't mean that yours has to be. You've got this OP, one day at a time and one less horrific Christmas dinner at a time. Your happily ever after is out there
    via u/eratoesben
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    FirmCalligrapher639 NTA. What about your heart? You're being cast as the villain when you've done nothing wrong. They've made their bed....
    via u/FirmCalligrapher639
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    SuccessPride821 OP Mine is supposed to be so full of love for him and the baby at least that I don't hurt and can be the bigger person or whatever way they'll try to sell it.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    mcmurrml Bigger person my foot. Those are just sorry words to manipulate people and guilt people into doing what they want.
    via u/mcmurrml
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    ExtremeJujoo NTA Your parents need to knock this shoff, like, yesterday. If they are so concerned about the baby and Tommy and Jade, then they can help out. But this is not your problem, you don't owe any of them, including their baby, jackshit. Oh! My favorite part if Tommy saying he would never be with Jade again and she wanted what YOU could offer the her and the baby. What a pig. I guarantee
    via u/ExtremeJujoo
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    you, once you took her back and played dada to her kid, she would go right back to -ing around, be it with Tommy or some other doofus. Tell your parents if they keep up with the emotional terrorism, they will end up on the non contact list too. Hopefully that jolts them back to reality. Tommy and Jade can eat a bowl of
    via u/ExtremeJujoo
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    SuccessPride821 OP I know that too. They probably would have had me raising all of their babies and then once it was over they'd run off together or at least he'd swoop in and play dad when the hard work was done.
    via u/SuccessPride821
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    JTBlakeinNYC NTA. Honestly, I would move as far away as possible, and cut them off entirely. But if that feels like too big of a step, just block your brother and ex and inform your parents that the next time they bring it up, you'll go no contact with them also.
    via u/JTBlakeinNYC
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    SuccessPride821 OP I blocked Tommy and Jade already. Next step might just be my parents.
    via u/SuccessPride821

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birth certificate family drama baby brother mother crazy things parents say siblings reddit story girlfriend dad family sibling mom parents brothers Father
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